Stress; it's a Killer
My life in general is absolutely wonderful, but I do have occasional stresses. Those of you who know me really well will know that I tend to plan far ahead and that can cause a little anxiety. I want to know exactly how everything is going to work out and exactly what I need to do to prepare. If someone were to tell me that next month my house will explode, we would witness an epic crime, and our family would be relocated to Namibia where I will be raising goats the rest of my life, that would be just fine(kinda). I appreciate the heads up. As long as I have adequate time to prepare and plan, nothing is too stressful to me.
But then there is the unknown. Now, that does not mean I don't like surprises, because I absolutely do (hint hint Kyle). But having no control over things that really matter; that's tough. Going through the process of buying a house has opened my eyes to a whole new world of stress. Will we be closed by the time the baby comes? Will we be closed ever? Do I need to start looking for rentals? All these things are constantly going through my head, and there is no off button.
What I've really learned about myself is that I need to be flexible. I've always considered myself an easy-going person because, generally speaking, I am. Ask me where I want to go for dinner or what movie I want to watch and I am genuinely content with whatever. But i need flexibility on the big things too. Flexibility and faith. So when I'm faced with questions like, "When will our baby come," or "Will we have a house next month" I can still feel peace and know that everything will be ok.
So thank you to Kyle and my parents and all the other people that are constantly telling me that everything will be ok, because they're right. I have my husband, our families, and soon we'll have our son and that's all I need. I have faith in the Lord and faith in my ability to cope.
AMEN! I'm the exact same way! I feel like i'll never get to nursing school! Only I need to work more on the faith and trust in the Lord thing. My Mission President gave me the advice of "learn how to adapt and cope with change, and you'll be fine!" Yeah still working on that. haha. Definitely know what you mean by wanting to know how and when everything is going to go so that i can be prepared. We just have to do everything we can to prepare, and then let the lord take the rest. I witnessed that on the mission several times, but need it to stick so that i will stop worrying about stuff.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! I am the biggest planner ever! I know God tests me in those ways because of the fact that I am. At first it was my boyfriend, fiance, then husband was in the Marines and let me tell you they def dont give you heads up with when deployments will be, when they will be back etc, killed me! Then after he was out of the marines that test was replaced with the fact that I married into a family of "lets wing it" types (like the will be visiting us for a month or so but dont know if it will be the month before the baby, after, or two months?!) and it is so difficult for me to function that way esp like you said with the BIG things, the little things dont matter to be but the big things like you said about buying a house (selling a house), or when the baby will come, moving across country (all things we are looking at in the next few months as well) oh it gets to me! Extra prayers for us on that topic huh, haha!
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